Amazon’s “100 Books to Read in a Lifetime”

This is the last of the four “Top 100” book lists I am measuring against my own reading history. I am planning to put together a short summary post to compare my findings across the four lists, and to see whether we can make any overarching observations about literary journalism as a result. But first, we have one more list to examine! As with the TIME, PBS, and Guardian lists, this is a list put out by a major media organization (Amazon); however, unlike those other lists, nowhere do the Amazon Books editors use a superlative. There is no “best” or “greatest” or “most-loved” being claimed here. This list, according to its title, is simply a group of experts’ recommendations on the 100 books one should read in their lifetime. The value of this list will rest squarely on that word “should.” My hope, at the outset of this list, is that they have taken the liberty of subjectivity to curate a list representative of the world we live in today. I hope Amazon believes people “should” read widely and diversely – from every genre, by authors from every part of the gender and racial spectra. Let’s take a look at how their list breaks down, and how many books I have left to read in my lifetime:

• 68 of the books on this list were written by men, versus 32 by women. This is only better than The Guardian’s list in terms of gender parity; both TIME and PBS have more women represented. This is a bit disappointing – again, given the loose parameters of “books you should read,” my hope was that Amazon would recommend something close to an even split. Better yet, I would have loved to see some non-binary representation this time around.
• Of all four lists I have examined, the Amazon list has the most culturally (if not racially, as we will see) diverse representation yet. 69 of the books were written by American authors, which is still high in the scope of all literature ever written; however, I have come to accept that lists published in America will always lean American. What is more encouraging is the cultural diversity of the other 31: writers are represented from Britain (15), continental Europe (6), Canada (2), Africa (2), Latin America (2), Asia (1), Australia (1), the Middle East (1) and the Caribbean (1). The other three lists saw combinations of these, but no other list represented such a broad spectrum of cultures. Good on you, Amazon.
• The chronology of the books on this list are encouraging to me, in that they reinforce an idea that I have argued many times before – that the classics, while great, are not the only books worth reading. Only 3 books written before the 20th century make the cut; and the closer you get to the present day, the more books Amazon thinks you should read. This is refreshing, when compared to so many must-read lists and high school English syllabi. Here is how the numbers look:
  • Pre-1900: 3
  • 1900-1939: 8
  • 1940-1959: 15
  • 1960-1979: 22
  • 1980-1999: 22
  • 2000-present: 30
• Finally, 85 of the 100 books were written by white authors. This is second best of all the lists we have examined, behind only PBS’s Great American Read; that being said, 15 books written by people of colour is not enough. I resolved at the beginning of this year to read more diversely, and to contribute in any small way I could to help more diverse voices be heard and recognized. This is where I think Amazon came up short. They gave themselves all the license in the world with a title like “100 Books to Read in a Lifetime”; they had no obligation to include so many of the old standards. They had an opportunity to say something about the importance of empathy, of differences in perspective and experience. Instead, they played it safe. So let me say unequivocally what Amazon did not: representation matters, and people of colour write words worth reading. Read them.
  

Here is the list in alphabetical order. How many have I read?:

Title	Read?
1. 1984	Yes
2. A Brief History of Time	No
3. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius	No
4. A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier	No
5. The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events)	Yes
6. A Wrinkle In Time	Yes
7. Alice Munro: Selected Short Stories	No
8. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass	Yes
9. All the President’s Men	No
10. Angela’s Ashes	No
11. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret	Yes
12. Bel Canto	No
13. Beloved	No
14. Born to Run	No
15. Breath, Eyes, Memory	No
16. Catch-22	Yes
17. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory	Yes
18. Charlotte’s Web	Yes
19. Cutting For Stone	No
20. Daring Greatly	No
21. Diary of a Wimpy Kid	No
22. Dune	Yes
23. Fahrenheit 451	Yes
24. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas	Yes
25. Gone Girl	No
26. Goodnight Moon	Yes
27. Great Expectations	Yes
28. Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fate of Human Societies	No
29. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone	Yes
30. In Cold Blood	Yes
31. Interpreter of Maladies	No
32. Invisible Man	No
33. Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth	No
34. Kitchen Confidential	No
35. Life After Life	No
36. Little House on the Prairie	No
37. Lolita	Yes
38. Love in the Time of Cholera	Yes
39. Love Medicine	No
40. Man’s Search For Meaning	No
41. Me Talk Pretty One Day	No
42. Middlesex	No
43. Midnight’s Children	No
44. Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game	No
45. Of Human Bondage	No
46. On The Road	Yes
47. Out of Africa	No
48. Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood	No
49. Portnoy’s Complaint	No
50. Pride and Prejudice	Yes
51. Silent Spring	No
52. Slaughterhouse-Five	Yes
53. Team of Rivals	No
54. The Age of Innocence	No
55. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay	No
56. The Autobiography of Malcolm X	No
57. The Book Thief	Yes
58. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao	Yes
59. The Catcher in the Rye	Yes
60. The Color of Water	No
61. The Corrections	Yes
62. The Devil in the White City	No
63. The Diary of a Young Girl	Yes
64. The Fault in Our Stars	Yes
65. The Giver	Yes
66. The Golden Compass	Yes
67. The Great Gatsby	Yes
68. The Handmaid’s Tale	Yes
69. The House at Pooh Corner	No
70. The Hunger Games	Yes
71. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks	No
72. The Liars’ Club	No
73. The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson series)	No
74. The Little Prince	Yes
75. The Long Goodbye	No
76. The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11	No
77. The Lord of the Rings	Yes
78. The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat	No
79. The Omnivore’s Dilemma	No
80. The Phantom Tollbooth	No
81. The Poisonwood Bible	Yes
82. The Power Broker	No
83. The Right Stuff	No
84. The Road	No
85. The Secret History	No
86. The Shining	Yes
87. The Stranger	No
88. The Sun Also Rises	No
89. The Things They Carried	No
90. The Very Hungry Caterpillar	Yes
91. The Wind in the Willows	Yes
92. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle	No
93. The World According to Garp	No
94. The Year of Magical Thinking	No
95. Things Fall Apart	No
96. To Kill A Mockingbird	Yes
97. Unbroken	No
98. Valley of the Dolls	No
99. Where the Sidewalk Ends	Yes
100. Where the Wild Things Are	Yes

I have read 40 of the 100 books Amazon believes I should read in my lifetime. If I maintain my current pace, I should finish them all by the time I’m 65. Of course, there is a good chance that more books will have been written between now and then that I should probably read as well… Oh well. All I can do is my best. A big thanks to the women at Thrice Read for inspiring this project, and Perfectly Tolerable for putting the Amazon list on my radar. Now to take a step back and see if we have learned anything over the course of 4 lists…

What do you think of this latest “Top 100” list? Let me know in comments how many YOU have read!

The Guardian’s “100 Best Nonfiction Books of All Time”

This is the third of four posts I am writing to examine the composition of “Top 100” lists in literary journalism. Be sure to go back and check out my analysis of TIME’s 100 Best Young Adult Books and PBS’s list for their Great American Read competition. Inspired by tags on Thrice Read, I wanted to measure my own reading history as compared to these sorts of “all time” lists. Of course, terms like “best” and “greatest” are entirely subjective, as opposed to measurable factors like copies sold – thus, each of the lists I am examining are shaped by their compilers, their media outlet or publication, and the society from which they are written. But subjectivity cannot be allowed to excuse prejudice, or ignorance, or laziness. As I have written many times this year, in today’s polarized world, it is more critical than ever that we are critical of the things we consume. Our media, our time, and even our reading habits should be put under the microscope. The loudest voices are not always right. In fact, Dunning-Kruger would suggest the exact opposite. So when a major media source like TIME or PBS, or in this case The Guardian, puts out a list of the “Top 100” books in a given category, I think we all owe it to ourselves to look deeper at the way these lists challenge or reinforce our biases. I am still interested in how well read The Guardian deems me to be, and I will take a tally below; but first, some numbers on “the 100 best nonfiction books of all time,” according to The Guardian:

• 83 authors represented are men, 19 are women. Tales From Shakespeare was written by both Charles and Mary Lamb, and The Elements of Style was written by two men – hence the total of 102. This gender disparity is the worst of any list I have looked at so far, but as we are about to see, diversity was far from the methodology here.
• It is pointless, in this case, to look at the cultural and linguistic diversity of the list; all of these books are written in English. The notable omissions of sacred texts from non-Christian religions, or other hugely influential books like The Diary of Anne Frank, The Art of War, On the Interpretation of Dreams, Discourse on Method, or The Kama Sutra, or any of the great works of Greek philosophy make the entire enterprise somewhat suspect. If The Guardian had wanted to make a list of “the 100 Best Nonfiction Books in the English Language,” they should have said that. Implying that your list contains the greatest books of all time, and only including works written in English, is deceptive and demeaning to countless intellectual traditions outside of Britain and America.
• A look at the chronology of the books (again, the fact that no book on the list was written before 1600 C.E. brings into serious question the “All Time” aspect of things):
  • 21st Century: 2
  • 20th Century: 51
  • 19th Century: 20
  • 18th Century: 16
  • 17th Century: 11
• Finally, 93 of the 100 books were written by white authors. A mere 7 books in the history of nonfiction written by people of colour were worth mentioning here, according to The Guardian. Again, the focus on English language works creates much of the problem here, as people of colour have only been viewed as people and not property for 150 years in much of the English speaking world. But if multiple collections of poetry make the nonfiction list, surely there is a place for Maya Angelou or Langston Hughes? Representation matters, and this list is bad at it.

Here is the list in reverse chronological order. How many have I read?:

Title	Read?
1. The Sixth Extinction	No
2. The Year of Magical Thinking	No
3. No Logo	Yes
4. Birthday Letters	No
5. Dreams From My Father	No
6. A Brief History of Time	No
7. The Right Stuff	No
8. Orientalism	No
9. Dispatches	No
10. The Selfish Gene	No
11. North	No
12. Awakenings	No
13. The Female Eunuch	No
14. Awopbopaloobop Alopbamboom	No
15. The Double Helix	No
16. Against Interpretation	No
17. Ariel	Yes
18. The Feminine Mystique	No
19. The Making of the English Working Class	No
20. Silent Spring	No
21. The Structure of Scientific Revolutions	No
22. A Grief Observed	Yes
23. The Elements of Style	Yes
24. The Affluent Society	No
25. The Uses of Literacy: Aspects of Working-Class Life	No
26. Notes of a Native Son	No
27. The Nude: A Study of Ideal Art	No
28. The Hedgehog and the Fox	No
29. Waiting For Godot	Yes
30. A Book of Mediterranean Food	No
31. The Great Tradition	No
32. The Last Days of Hitler	Yes
33. The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care	No
34. Hiroshima	No
35. The Open Society and Its Enemies	No
36. Black Boy: A Record of Childhood and Youth	No
37. How to Cook a Wolf	No
38. Enemies of Promise	No
39. The Road to Wigan Pier	No
40. The Road to Oxiana	No
41. How to Win Friends and Influence People	No
42. Testament of Youth	No
43. My Early Life: A Roving Commission	No
44. Goodbye to All That	No
45. A Room of One’s Own	Yes
46. The Waste Land	Yes
47. Ten Days That Shook The World	No
48. The Economic Consequences of Peace	Yes
49. The American Language	No
50. Eminent Victorians	No
51. The Souls of Black Folk	No
52. De Profundis	No
53. The Varieties of Religious Experience	No
54. Brief Lives	No
55. Personal Memoirs (Ulysses S Grant)	No
56. Life on the Mississippi	No
57. Travels With a Donkey in the Cévennes	No
58. Nonsense Songs	No
59. Culture and Anarchy	No
60. On the Origin of Species	Yes
61. On Liberty	Yes
62. The Wonderful Adventures of Mrs Seacole in Many Lands	No
63. The Life of Charlotte Bronte	No
64. Walden	Yes
65. Thesaurus	Yes?
66. London Labour and the London Poor	No
67. Household Education	No
68. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave	Yes
69. Essays (Ralph Waldo Emerson)	Yes
70. Domestic Manners of the Americans	No
71. An American Dictionary of the English Language	Yes?
72. Confessions of an English Opium-Eater	No
73. Tales From Shakespeare	Yes
74. Travels in the Interior Districts of Africa	No
75. The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin	No
76. A Vindication of the Rights of Woman	No
77. The Life of Samuel Johnson LLD	No
78. Reflections on the Revolution in France	Yes
79. The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Olaudah Equiano	No
80. The Natural History and Antiquities of Selborne	No
81. The Federalist Papers	Yes
82. The Diary of Fanny Burney	No
83. The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire	Yes
84. The Wealth of Nations	Yes
85. Common Sense	Yes
86. A Dictionary of the English Language	Yes?
87. A Treatise of Human Nature	Yes
88. A Modest Proposal	No
89. A Tour Through the Whole Island of Great Britain	No
90. An Essay Concerning Human Understanding	Yes
91. The Book of Common Prayer	No
92. The Diary of Samuel Pepys	No
93. Hydriotaphia, Urn Burial, or A Brief Discourse of the Sepulchral Urns Lately Found in Norfolk	No
94. Leviathan	Yes
95. Areopagitica	No
96. Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions	No
97. The First Folio	Yes
98. The Anatomy of Melancholy	No
99. The History of the World	No
100. The King James Bible	Yes

28 out of 100 – and I am shocked it is that high. I fully expect that my reading percentage on this list will be the lowest of the four. Nonfiction has never held the same sway over me as fiction, and some of the books on this list are, though deserving of their place, fairly unapproachable in 2018. Also, there are two dictionaries and a thesaurus here – I counted myself as having “read” them, in that I have used them. I certainly have NOT read them cover-to-cover. Most of the nonfiction I read these days is narrative nonfiction or biography, neither of which is heavily represented here. Looking at the ones I haven’t read, and keeping in mind my goal of reading more diversely, I don’t think my number is going to go up much from here.

What do you think of this latest “Top 100” list? Let me know in comments how many YOU have read!

PBS’s “The Great American Read”

Last week, inspired by Thrice Read, I took a look at the composition of TIME’s “100 Best Young Adult Books of All Time”. I crunched some numbers on the composition of the list, and took a look at how many of the 100 I have read. Since then, PBS has announced their list of 100 books entitled “The Great American Read“. They will be profiling “America’s 100 most-loved books” in a miniseries beginning in May, and then America will have a chance to vote on which book is “greatest”. As a Canadian, I don’t know that I will be able to vote – but I enjoyed reviewing TIME’s list so much that I thought I would do the same here! First, the numbers on PBS’ “The Great American Read”:

• 67 of the books were written by men, 33 by women
• 62 of the books were written by American authors, 21 by English-speaking Europeans, 4 by Canadians, and 1 by an Australian. That leaves 12 books written by authors in Africa (2), Latin America (4), and non-English-speaking Europe (6). This distribution is slightly better than the TIME list, though of course it is still heavily skewed towards books written in English. Since this list is compiling “most-loved” books instead of “best,” I think that is understandable.
• A look at the chronology of the books:
  • Pre-1900: 17
  • 1900-1939: 10
  • 1940-1959: 14
  • 1960-1979: 13
  • 1980-1999: 27
  • 2000-present: 19
• Finally, 83 of the 100 books were written by white authors. 17 books on PBS’ list were written by people of colour. Again, this is a slightly higher number than on TIME’S list of YA books, but still does not nearly represent the diversity of American readers. I am recommitting myself to reading more diversely – the more people who buy books by diverse authors, the more diverse authors will be given the opportunity to publish. Or at least the hope in me believes so.

Here is the list in alphabetical order. How many have I read?:

Rank and Title	Read?
1. 1984	Yes
2. A Confederacy of Dunces	Yes
3. A Prayer For Owen Meany	No
4. A Separate Peace	No
5. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn	Yes
6. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer	Yes
7. The Alchemist	Yes
8. Alex Cross Mysteries (Series)	No
9. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland	Yes
10. Americanah	No
11. And Then There Were None	Yes
12. Anne of Green Gables	Yes
13. Another Country	No
14. Atlas Shrugged	Yes
15. Beloved	No
16. Bless Me, Ultima	No
17. The Book Thief	Yes
18. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao	Yes
19. The Call of the Wild	No
20. Catch-22	Yes
21. The Catcher in the Rye	Yes
22. Charlotte’s Web	Yes
23. The Chronicles of Narnia (Series)	Yes
24. Clan of the Cave Bear	No
25. Coldest Winter Ever	No
26. The Color Purple	Yes
27. The Count of Monte Cristo	Yes
28. Crime and Punishment	No
29. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time	Yes
30. The Da Vinci Code	Yes
31. Don Quixote	No
32. Doña Bárbára	No
33. Dune	Yes
34. Fifty Shades of Grey (Series)	No
35. Flowers in the Attic	No
36. Foundation (Series)	No
37. Frankenstein	Yes
38. Game of Thrones (Series)	No
39. Ghost	No
40. Gilead	No
41. The Giver	Yes
42. The Godfather	Yes
43. Gone Girl	No
44. Gone With the Wind	Yes
45. The Grapes of Wrath	Yes
46. Great Expectations	Yes
47. The Great Gatsby	Yes
48. Gulliver’s Travels	No
49. The Handmaid’s Tale	Yes
50. Harry Potter (Series)	Yes
51. Hatchet (Series)	Yes
52. Heart of Darkness	Yes
53. The Help	No
54. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy	Yes
55. The Hunger Games (Series)	Yes
56. The Hunt for Red October	No
57. The Intuitionist	No
58. Invisible Man	No
59. Jane Eyre	Yes
60. The Joy Luck Club	No
61. Jurassic Park	Yes
62. Left Behind (Series)	No
63. The Little Prince	Yes
64. Little Women	Yes
65. Lonesome Dove	No
66. Looking For Alaska	Yes
67. The Lord of the Rings (Series)	Yes
68. The Lovely Bones	Yes
69. The Martian	No
70. Memoirs of a Geisha	No
71. Mind Invaders	No
72. Moby-Dick	Yes
73. The Notebook	No
74. One Hundred Years of Solitude	Yes
75. Outlander (Series)	No
76. The Outsiders	Yes
77. The Picture of Dorian Gray	Yes
78. The Pilgrim’s Progress	No
79. The Pillars of the Earth	No
80. Pride and Prejudice	Yes
81. Ready Player One	No
82. Rebecca	Yes
83. The Shack	No
84. Siddartha	No
85. The Sirens of Titan	No
86. The Stand	Yes
87. The Sun Also Rises	No
88. Swan Song	No
89. Tales of the City (Series)	No
90. Their Eyes Were Watching God	Yes
91. Things Fall Apart	No
92. This Present Darkness	No
93. To Kill a Mockingbird	Yes
94. The Twilight Saga (Series)	Yes
95. War and Peace	Yes
96. Watchers	No
97. The Wheel of Time (Series)	Yes
98. Where the Red Fern Grows	Yes
99. White Teeth	No
100. Wuthering Heights	Yes

54 out of 100 – more than half! This is an… interesting list. PBS outlines on their website that the list was compiled using a survey of about 7,200 Americans, asking them simply to name their most-loved novel. There are a few inclusions here that baffle me (Mind Invaders is hardly even findable on Google) and leave real questions as to the diversity of their sample size. But again, framing the conversation in terms of “most-loved,” a completely subjective measure, gives them a lot of license to be unscientific.

What do you think of this latest “Top 100” list? Let me know in comments how many YOU have read!

TIME’s “100 Greatest YA Books”

Inspired by the awesome women over at Thrice Read, I thought I would take a look at my own reading history stacked up against TIME’s 100 Best Young Adult Books of All Time. But first, in the spirit of mindfulness I laid out in one of my first posts of the year, I want to take a look at the list as a whole. What can we say about TIME’s selections? Here are some statistics:

• 57 of the books were written by men, 43 by women
• 68 of the books were written by American authors, 24 by English-speaking Europeans, 2 by Canadians, and 2 by Australians. That leaves only 4 books written by non-English European (3) and South American (1) authors. As far as I can tell, only 4 books were not written in English. Perhaps a better name for the list would have been the 100 Best Young Adult Books in the English Language?
• In terms of chronology, 26 books were written before 1960, 20 were written from 1960-1979, 13 from 1980-1999, and 41 have been written in the 21st century. This maps to the list’s preamble that, “We’re living in a golden age of young-adult literature.”
• Finally, and disappointingly, 90 of the 100 books were written by white authors. Only 10 books on the entire list were written by people of colour. I am not really sure what to make of this fact – whether it reflects poorly on the compilation of the list or the history of YA publishing. I am sure the right answer lies somewhere in the ambiguous middle.

As with any subjective list, the inclusion or absence of any book below should be taken with a grain of salt – in this case, perhaps a large one. But let’s take a look at how my reading history stacks up:

Rank and Title	Read?
1. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian	No
2. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone	Yes
3. The Book Thief	Yes
4. A Wrinkle in Time	Yes
5. Charlotte’s Web	Yes
6. Holes	Yes
7. Matilda	No
8. The Outsiders	Yes
9. The Phantom Tollbooth	No
10. The Giver	Yes
11. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.	Yes
12. To Kill A Mockingbird	Yes
13. Roll of Thunder, Hear Me Cry	No
14. Anne of Green Gables	Yes
15. The Chronicles of Narnia	Yes
16. Monster	No
17. The Golden Compass	Yes
18. The Diary of a Young Girl	Yes
19. From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler	Yes
20. Looking for Alaska	Yes
21. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time	Yes
22. Little House on the Prairie	No
23. The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane	No
24. Wonder	No
25. The Sword in the Stone	Yes
26. The Catcher in the Rye	Yes
27. Little Women	Yes
28. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn	Yes
29. The Hobbit	Yes
30. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz	Yes
31. Lord of the Flies	Yes
32. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory	Yes
33. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland	Yes
34. Bridge to Terabithia	Yes
35. The Call of the Wild	No
36. A Separate Place	No
37. Harriet the Spy	No
38. The Chocolate War	No
39. Jacob Here I Loved	No
40. A Series of Unfortunate Events	Yes
41. Hatchet	Yes
42. The Lord of the Rings	Yes
43. Feed	No
44. The Alchemyst	No
45. The Princess Bride	Yes
46. Beezus & Ramona	Yes
47. Tarzan of the Apes	No
48. Johnny Tremain	No
49. The Westing Game	Yes
50. The Wind in the Willows	Yes
51. Speak	No
52. Mary Poppins	No
53. The Faults in Our Stars	Yes
54. A Northern Light	No
55. The Yearling	No
56. The Hunger Games	Yes
57. For Freedom	No
58. The Wall	No
59. A Monster Calls	Yes
60. Percy Jackson & the Olympians	No
61. The Illustrated Man	No
62. A Wreath for Emmett Till	No
63. Every Day	Yes
64. Where Things Come Back	No
65. Number the Stars	No
66. Blankets	No
67. Private Peaceful	No
68. The Witch of Blackbird Pond	Yes
69. Dangerous Angels	No
70. Frindle	No
71. Boxers and Saints	No
72. The Graveyard Book	No
73. City of the Beasts	No
74. American Born Chinese	No
75. The Lost Conspiracy	No
76. Dogsbody	No
77. The Pigman	No
78. Alabama Moon	No
79. Esperanza Rising	No
80. The Knife of Never Letting Go	Yes
81. Boy Proof	No
82. Fallen Angels	No
83. A High Wind in Jamaica	No
84. The Tiger Rising	No
85. When You Reach Me	No
86. Saffy’s Angel	No
87. The Grey King	No
88. Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH	Yes
89. The Thief Lord	Yes
90. The Mysterious Benedict Society	No
91. The Invention of Hugo Cabret	No
92. Sabriel	No
93. Tiger Lily	No
94. Secret	No
95. A Wizard of Earthsea	Yes
96. Tales of Mystery and Imagination	No
97. Whale Talk	No
98. The Chronicles of Prydain	No
99. Danny the Champion of the World	No
100. Twilight	Yes

By my count, that is 43 out of 100! Not bad, and I have added a few more to my never-ending To Be Read pile as well!

Let me know in comments how many YOU have read!

10 Scattered Thoughts About Romeo and Juliet

Last summer, as part of a resolution to reacquaint myself with the joys and pleasures of Shakespeare, I took in the Stratford Festival‘s production of Romeo and Juliet. Earlier in the year, I reread the complete works, along with a number of books on all manner of subjects related to the Bard. Besides the plays, sonnets, and epics, I read books on Shakespeare’s female characters, Shakespeare and sex, and Shakespearean philosophy, to name a few. Perhaps I will find time, some day, to compile some thoughts on the best and most interesting Shakespeare scholarship being published today.

But the culmination of what I was calling in my own head “my year with Shakespeare” was finally getting back to the hallowed ground of Stratford, Ontario, home to one of the premiere Shakespearean stages in the world, to take in Shakespeare as it was meant to be: performed. Angela and I drove out on a rainy day in September to catch the festival’s 2017 production of Romeo and Juliet late in its run, and it was well worth the trip. I could never have anticipated the rush of feelings and emotions brought on by what I have always proclaimed to be one of, if not absolutely, my least favourite plays in the canon.

I had the opportunity to revisit the production this weekend, as a filmed version of the performance is now being played in cinemas across Canada. Since I walked breathlessly back into the sunshine from the dark of the theatre, a million thoughts have once again been swirling through my head. They take on no coherent shape; there is no central point or argument I wish to make, no essay I wish to write. They are just thoughts – on Shakespeare, on Romeo and Juliet, on theatre, and on myself. I will try to document them here, as best I can, before they slip away.

1. I understand better, now, why Romeo and Juliet is so often the first play introduced to students studying Shakespeare. It’s a joke, you see. English teachers are presenting 14-year-olds with a perfect caricature of themselves, what with Romeo forgetting Rosaline as soon as he sees Juliet, the bawdy humour, the ridiculous, flighty poetry that is often all surface. But by the end there is real emotion as well. Real love, real loss. It both pokes fun at the emotional volatility of children, and gives them credit for being more than adults imagine them to be. To Ms. Piteo, my high school English teacher – as always, you knew best.
2. The appeal is in the inevitability, right? Though it may be the perfect gateway for students to discover the Bard, I don’t think it is arguable that old Bill wrote better plays than this, so I have been struggling to reconcile what makes this such a standard. Why can people who have never read a lick of Shakespeare give a passable facsimile of Romeo and Juliet‘s plot and movement, but tell you nothing of Lear or Richard III? I still don’t know, but I have a hunch that it has to do with the fact that you know from the chorus’ opening sonnet that these poor lovers must die.
3. Speaking of that opening sonnet, it absolutely belongs in the oft-tread conversation of “the greatest opening lines in literature”. It should take its place in the echelons of “Call me Ishmael,” “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” and the rest.
4. “I am fortune’s fool” is perhaps the most relatable sentiment ever written.
5. I am unspeakably fortunate to have grown up within a short drive of one of the best centres for Shakespeare performance in the world. Stratford has played host to Alec Guinness, Christopher Plummer, Maggie Smith, William Shatner, Jessica Tandy, Peter Ustinov, and so many more. Every year, people travel much greater distances on their pilgrimage to see the finest stage actors of today and tomorrow come together to perform the greatest works of the English language – I am ashamed that it took me so many years to go back.
6. Speaking of fine actors, I once had the opportunity to share a (much smaller) stage with John Watson, an incredible Canadian actor who has tread the boards at Stratford, and his wife Jane, an incredible actress in her own right. I often look back at that community theatre production of Peter Pan, in which I played Peter to John’s Captain Hook, as a highlight of my creative life. Sharing ideas and building a show with actors who have honed their craft at the highest levels was beyond the dreams of a small town player like myself. They were so clearly on a different echelon than the rest of our cast, but not for a moment did they make us feel that way. They were the most generous, supportive actors it was ever my privilege to work with. Seeing Romeo and Juliet brought back the warm glow of those feelings, and made me grateful for that time in my own life.
7. Of course there is a bittersweetness as well in seeing Shakespeare performed, as someone who once fostered dreams that I could take a run at acting as a career. It is hard to describe the feeling of performing Shakespeare. It combines the familiar rush of performance and bringing a character to life with a genuine sense of privilege. Any time I have been part of a production of the Bard’s work, I have been overwhelmed with the feeling that I am blessed beyond imagining to be allowed to speak those words, to perform that material. There is a sacred nature to it, which is why it has endured beyond any other work. And so to see others partaking of that incomparable joy is thrilling – but still I cannot help the slightest twinge of jealousy.
8. No doubt there is a recency bias, but Mercutio may be among my top 5 “dream roles” in the canon. I am tempted to go back through and create a definitive list, just to see.
9. Romeo and Juliet is a filthy play. Its comedic characters go well beyond the realm of innuendo into blatant, no-holds-barred sex comedy – and this production in particular leaned right into it. The driving forces behind the bawdy humour are Mercutio and the Nurse, expertly played by Evan Buliung and Seana McKenna; both managed to take the audience to the very edge of they-can’t-say-that vulgarity while still delivering evocative, stirring performances in the show’s darkest moments. The show and its players have remarkable range.
10. All of this is to say, I have to go back. I have already begun to look at this year’s festival, and how I can see the most shows possible. But I feel that other itch, that other calling as well. I find myself wondering more and more these days if I could truly be happy knowing that I had performed my last show, and that I will never act again. I don’t know that I can accept that just yet. Who knows what the future may hold.

So there you have it – 10 disorganized thoughts about Romeo and Juliet. There will be more Shakespeare in this space in coming weeks, but in the meantime:

• Read the classics
• Support great art
• Don’t be fortune’s fool

On Stories Not Told

John Green, YA author of such bestsellers as The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down, is an immensely quotable guy. Between his novels, podcasts, and YouTube videos, John has written and spoken many words which people have subsequently turned into posters or t-shirts or Tumblr posts, or, as I have, permanently inscribed them on their bodies. One John Green-ism that I have been turning to often of late is his oft-repeated sentiment that “books belong to their readers.” He is not talking about the ownership of the physical book by the individual who purchases it, of course; he is referring to the idea that once a book is written, it no longer belongs to the author. Once it exists as a thing out there in the world, a book belongs to its audience.

John first offered this opinion in response to fans and readers asking for updates on what characters in his books would have done after the book was finished. Does Q ever see Margo again after the events of Paper Towns? What happens to Pudge now that Alaska is gone? John’s point is that those answers are not his to give; at least no more his than any other reader of the book. He wrote a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end – anything beyond that exists in the mind of the reader. It is part of the magic of reading, imagining the world beyond the pages and finding meaning for oneself beyond what the author “intended”. Authors should and often do leave white spaces around the edges for the reader to fill in themselves. Editors also help writers to figure out what is and what is not the story; if it is in the book but it is not the story, it gets cut. This is a crucial part of storytelling. The decision of what the story is, and what is not the story, is a deliberate one. In deciding not to tell a certain part of the story, the author is making a deliberate decision to allow the reader to fill that gap themselves, immersing them further into the world of the story. This is the nature of the relationship between author and reader – the author crafts a good story worth telling about characters who feel real, while the reader’s imagination fills in the blanks.

It is natural that this mutual investment between author and reader will create a longing in the latter to know what happens next. This longing is largely responsible for the phenomenon of “fan fiction,” wherein readers will actually write continuations or alternative versions of their favourite stories, often publishing them online for others to read. Active and imaginative fan fiction communities spring up around nearly every successful piece of fiction – and of course, the more connected readers feel to the worlds of these stories, the desire for more of that world gets stronger. Getting lost in a fictional universe is a delectable form of escape, and you can feel a real and profound sense of loss when you are forced to come back to reality when the book (or movie or television show) inevitably ends. Of course, you could just start again at the beginning, but you already know what happened; you want more, not again. John Green’s point is that the stories told in fan fiction, or the ones that simply exist in the mind of a reader, about what happens outside the confines of the actual story, are just as valid as any idea the author may have on the topic. Once the writer has told their story and given it to the reader, the power of the reader’s imagination to fill in the blanks in a way that is most valuable to them is much more amazing than any further detail the author could provide.

The reason all of this has been on my mind lately is that there are two very notable (heck, maybe the two most notable) fictional worlds which seem to be absolutely devoted to ignoring this principle. I am speaking, of course, of Harry Potter and Star Wars.

In the case of Harry Potter, JK Rowling wrote a series of novels that have come to mean the world to an entire generation of young people (and quite a few not-so-young people). A deep sorrow settled over the Harry Potter fandom after the release of the seventh (and supposedly final) book in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Fans of Rowling’s magical universe felt lost knowing that this was it – all of the stories they would ever hear about Harry had been told. Harry Potter has perhaps the largest fanfiction community in the world today, with novellas and musicals and songs and artwork being created even now, 11 years after Deathly Hallows was published; but even that vibrant, creative community could not satisfy fans’ desire to know what happened to their favourite characters. Unlike John Green, however, Rowling has obliged. In spades.

First there came Pottermore, a website built for Rowling to release regular updates and accompanying material, filling in perceived gaps in the books or else giving an official ruling by the author on events and details outside of the timeline of the novels. With each update and expansion of the “canon,” Rowling invalidates more and more of the imagination and creation of the readers of her books. Following John Green’s thinking, she gave the books to her readers and is now taking them back, piece by piece, intent on never giving up ownership of her story. Pottermore was not Rowling’s cardinal sin, however. That came in the form of a play, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, for which Rowling wrote the story, though the script was written by Jack Thorne. The script was released in book form so that fans who couldn’t see the play in London could still experience the canonical story of a grown up Harry, along with his friends and children. Not only does the play laugh in the face of the idea that readers have any ownership over a story, it is aggressively unlike the Potter than fans loved. As I said when I read it, none of it felt right. The characters did not sound, act, or feel like the characters that readers had gotten to know over the course of seven novels. Fans, myself included, had spent nine years wishing for more Potter – until it came, whereupon we wished we could take it back. It was not just that Cursed Child was bad; nothing Rowling released could have lived up to the magic of the world beyond the books that we had all built in our imaginations.

Star Wars, that other titan of storytelling, is also defying John Green’s wisdom of gifting a story to its readers (or in this case viewers); and while I don’t think Disney’s faults are as egregious in this matter, I think they are more overtly greedy. To be clear, I have no problem that they are still making Star Wars movies. George Lucas has talked about a series of nine films since the very beginning of Star Wars – heck, he started with Episode IV. And though many people have argued passionately that the filmmakers did to Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi what Rowling did to her characters in Cursed Child, this is not my concern either. What rubs me the wrong way, as a believer that stories belong to their audience, is the other Star Wars movies that Disney is now pumping out at an alarming rate. Take Rogue One for instance. It was the first of the so-called “Star Wars Stories” – expanded universe films that tell stories outside of the main thread of the franchise. It tells the story of how the plans for the Death Star ended up in the hands of Princess Leia, leading to the Rebellion destroying the Empire. This was a story familiar to Star Wars fans, because it is mentioned in the very first film, Episode IV: A New Hope. According to rebel leader Mon Mothma, “many Bothans died to bring us this information.” When Lucas wrote that line, he intentionally left out the details. He made the conscious choice that it was more impactful to allow fans to imagine for themselves what it might mean that many Bothans had died in pursuit of the rebel cause. That was not the story he set out to tell. He left a blank space for the viewer to fill in themselves, bringing them into the story. Retrieving the plans was not the story he set out to tell. But Disney, as they are wont to do, saw an opportunity to add another movie to a tremendously lucrative franchise by filling in the blank and telling an official version of that story-that-is-not-the-story. And they are doing the same with Solo, and all of the other in-universe films they have announced. With every movie that is released to fill in the gaps in the main story of Star Wars, the imagination that viewers bring to the series is diminished. There are less blanks for them to fill in. They have less ownership over their own experience of the story, and become passive. A number on a profit sheet, a seat filled.

I may be wrong. Perhaps a piece of fiction is made more enjoyable, the more of it there is. But I tend to agree with John that a story is made more valuable when the storyteller relinquishes control to the audience; when they say, “I have told the story I set out to tell. You decide what happens next.”

*****

What do you prefer? Is there never enough of your favourite book or series, or would you rather imagine the stories beyond the pages yourself?

Wonderful

I spend a great deal of time commuting. On average, I spend ten hours behind the wheel over the course of the work week, and a few more hours most weekends. Fifteen years ago, I would have found that number daunting; I actually quite enjoy driving, but I like to keep my mind engaged while on the road. Spending more than half a day driving each week with only the radio or some homemade mixes burnt to CDs would quickly break me. Without the technology and media I have access to today, I would need to find a career much closer to home. Spotify, wherein I can cater endless hours of music specifically to my liking without ever having to hear commercials or change CDs, is a downright miracle. But even with all of that music at my disposal, I still spend 95% of my driving time listening to another media altogether.

Podcasts.

I’m not going to get into a long explanation of podcasts – they have become solidly mainstream over the last five years, and are enough a part of the media landscape that definition seems unnecessary. I listen to a huge variety of podcasts; comedy, true crime, movies, history, poetry, literature, and pop culture are just a few of the categories represented in my subscription feed. I listen to podcasts that make me laugh, make me think, inform me and engage me. But there is one podcast in particular that is unlike any other I listen to: Wonderful, from Rachel and Griffin McElroy.

The subtitle to Wonderful is “An Enthusiast Podcast”, and that is what sets it apart. Super-spouses Rachel and Griffin used to host a recap podcast centered on The Bachelor and other “reality” dating franchises, but eventually found that they no longer enjoyed the constant negativity brought on by covering some of the more problematic stances taken by those programs. They weren’t having fun anymore, talking week after week about toxic masculinity and casual racism on television. Both overwhelmingly positive, creative people, they wanted to start a new project which would put some good out into the world. They wanted to focus on things that are, well, wonderful. On their weekly, hour-long episodes, Rachel and Griffin each discuss two things which they think are wonderful. These could be songs they are into at the moment, television shows from their childhood, favourite holiday foods, or even abstract feelings (on this week’s episode, Rachel brought “curiosity”). They also read out “wonderful” submissions from listeners.

Wonderful is the highlight of my listening week. Though there is comedy and levity in other shows I listen to, there is something so refreshing about enthusiasm for enthusiasm’s sake. Comedy and fluff are a form of escapism from the often-overwhelming negativity of the world in 2018. Enthusiasm and appreciation, those values championed by Rachel and Griffin each week, don’t feel like an escape from the darkness – they feel like fighting back. As the doomsday clock ticks closer to midnight, there is an exhilaration in aggressive positivity; in refusing to focus on all the bad and instead being unapologetically excited about things that make you happy. So, inspired by the McElroys and hoping to shed light in my small corner of the universe, here are some things that I find wonderful:

A Blind Date with a Book

A used bookstore near where I grew up has an incredible section which they call “Blind Date with a Book”. They take books that have sat on their shelves for a while, reduce the price, wrap them in brown paper, and stick a blurb from a Goodreads review to the outside. They eliminate all the external prejudices we usually use when selecting books – author’s gender, plot summary, or even in many cases genre. All you have to go on is a stranger’s recommendation. For around $5, you get the joy and excitement of unwrapping a gift; and how often can you get yourself a gift and genuinely not know what you’re going to get? It is a great way to discover new books which your predispositions may otherwise have stopped you from picking up.

Genealogy

People turn to all sorts of disciplines to discover “who they are”; knowledge of the self is a core principle of philosophy, psychology, and religion. A fascinating part of who a person is is where they come from. I am exceedingly lucky that, on both sides of my family, my grandparents have been tracking our family history back generations. This used to be painstaking work, requiring lots of travel and time poring over manual records. As they have gotten older or passed away, I have become the steward of that research. It is amazing to be able to look back at these intricately charted family trees and realize how many lives had to converge in unexpected ways in order for me to even exist. Now, with the popularization of services like Ancestry.com or 23andMe, more people have easier access than ever to discover who they are and how they came to be – and I think that is wonderful.

Intermission

There are lots of practical reasons that an intermission is wonderful; first, it probably means your are attending some sort of live performance, and at any time of any day there is nothing I would rather be doing. Of course, it also allows you a bathroom break, a drink refill, a stretch of the legs. But intermission’s most wonderful function, in my opinion, is that it allows for that quintessential intermission question: “What do you think so far?” In allowing time for you to discuss the performance, whatever that may be, with your friends and neighbours halfway through the show, the experience goes from solitary to shared. Instead of the solitude of watching a movie in a cinema, it is now like you are reading a book in a book club. Other people’s opinions and experiences of the first act can shape the way that you experience the second. Plus, I can’t hold it that long.

Poetry Twitter

Just as it became increasingly difficult for Rachel and Griffin to justify watching The Bachelor, it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to justify using Twitter. The incessant negativity, the lack of affirmative action to counter hate speech, the constantly updating feed providing a play-by-play of the downfall of human decency – all of these make scrolling through Twitter extremely anxiety-inducing. I have tried, this year, to reclaim my Twitter feed (as well as reach my resolution to read more poetry) by unfollowing accounts which fetishize negativity, and instead following poets and poetry accounts. It helps my state of mind immensely to have the tragedy and brokenness interrupted by words of beauty, strength, and protest. The most wonderful of these, in my opinion, is the poet Kaveh Akbar – he fills my timeline with incredible amateur and professional poetry, and is a true light in the darkness.

What are things that you think are wonderful? Celebrate them in the comments!

Here Lies the Indie Book Store

It really felt like a funeral. I walked into the local independent bookstore in my small hometown this afternoon to a sombre scene. Many of the displays had already been disassembled or sold. What shelves remained looked like shelves at a Texas grocery store when they call for snow; disheveled, with wide empty spaces between the things nobody wanted. I couldn’t believe it when my mom had sent me a note telling me the store was closing. It had happened to many independent businesses in our little corner of the world as first one, then another multinational chain moved in. But for many years since the globalization of retail, it always seemed like our little bookstore, my little bookstore, was immune. But here was the sign in the window. Closing. Save 25% or more on all in store merchandise.

The same bell tinkled above the door when I walked in as it had when I arrived at 11 p.m. before the midnight release of the last Harry Potter book, or the second last, or the one before that. The same bell had chimed when I got my first job and had disposable income burning holes in my pockets, which I used to buy my very own set of The Lord of the Rings. That was the bell my wife heard when I first gave her a guided tour of my favourite spots, years ago when we were first dating. The little shop must have been something before it was my local independent bookstore, but I don’t remember a time before it.

This time when the bell tinkled, Roxanne, the owner and namesake of Roxanne’s Reflections Book & Card Shop, looked up from where she was at a shelf, trying to keep some semblance of order to her rapidly emptying shop. She beamed when she saw me, and she does whenever she sees a familiar face – and in a town our size, all faces are familiar. She asked me how I was, and I told her. Devastated, I said. I couldn’t believe it. She nodded knowingly, the smile never leaving, and remarked that it was time to move on to the next thing, whatever that may be. We passed the time for a while, as we have hundreds of times before. I told her I had to come back, though I no longer live in town, to say goodbye and to buy a few more books. It wasn’t enough to say; though I was surrounded by books full of them, I found that words escaped me. I think she knows I meant to say thank you.

I wandered the store a while and found some things to take among the remains of a once bountiful collection. I picked up a book of poetry and a novel for myself, and a novel for Angela by an author she likes. I gave a long last look as I walked out the door, the bell tinkling above my head, a lump rising in my throat that still hasn’t settled. It seemed my childhood, my small town upbringing, was still alive somewhere in that shop; but now I will never go back. Roxanne’s bookstore was a safe space, before such things were discussed and politicized as they are today. It was where a young boy, more interested in theatre than sports, apt to spend every daylight hour on a summer day with his nose in a book, went to discover wonders. It was where a young man took the girl who would be his wife to tell her, look, this is who I am.

I can get books anywhere now. I am not bound by the imaginary radius from my house which my parents deemed it safe for me to walk alone. I have a car, and within minutes I can be at a massive store run by a national chain filled with tens of thousands of books. I can even order books online and have someone brings them to me. I can ask strangers or even robots for recommendations based on things I have read before, and they are often right on the mark. But something tells me, for the rest of my life, whenever I smell the unmistakable scent of new books, I will hear the tinkle of a bell and feel at home.

Winter in the Woods

It’s the smell that is missing, most of all. Pollen and nectar, far-off cooking fires, the sweetness of rot; all are dampered by a blanket of snow. Gone is the purity of air filtered through deciduous leaves. This time of year, this sacred place smells like the rest of the world feels; dull, industrial, and grey.

It is hard to reconcile this inhospitable wasteland with the warmth my heart remembers. This cannot be the place of early morning mist, of the heartache of loons, of warm afternoons filled with the business of nothing, of leaving the fireside to gaze at the stars. No. This is a place of desolation, of hardship, of suffocating closeness, of lurking, watchful dangers.

The Great Outdoors. Great like Alexander – indomitable; enduring. Great and terrible, like Oz – wondrous to look upon; treacherous, though perhaps not for the reasons you think.

I come here to recharge. Refill. Reconnect. Rejuvenate. Remind. Remember. But buried deep in a crystalline mausoleum, trees like tombstones inscribed with summer, I cannot tap the source. Instead I exert. Exhaust. Excavate. Exhale. Expire.

 

Exist.

I exist. For here, look, the water still flows. The trees do not die, but sleep. Is that a fire I smell on the wind? From fire comes the thaw, the reclamation. Tree to wood to fire to ash to soil to tree.

I sit in the warmth of fire and familiar voices. Out the window I see the cold, but it is not forever. I will be back with the smell of summertime.

Careful Consumption, Constant Creation

It is rote and uninspired to observe that 2017 was a rollercoaster of a year, but nevertheless it was. It was filled with highs and lows, both personally and globally. I married the love of my life, and T***p was inaugurated as President of the United States; between those two extremes were many moments of joy and despair, elation and outrage. I find myself reflecting, as I begin a new year already promising to be as change-filled as the last, on what I can do to steer myself towards the positive. What did I do, what choices did I make last year that led to the highest highs and the lowest lows? How can I consciously and actively steer my life (and that tiny portion of the world over which I have some small degree of influence) towards positivity? In short, how can I make 2018 a better year?

When I look at the ways in which I interacted with the world around me in the last year, I keep coming back to consumption. I consumed more in 2017 than in any other year previously. I spent more time and followed more people on a multitude of social media. I watched more television, more YouTube content, more movies. I played more video games and fewer board games. Incidentally, I consumed fewer books, of which I am deeply ashamed. After reading 50 books in 2016, I read a disappointing 44 last year, many of which were by the same authors representing the same viewpoints. I contracted my literary horizons instead of expanding them. But across every other media, I consumed more content with less care. I read headlines and watched reaction videos instead of reading articles and finding source material. I sunk hours into the internet’s echo chamber of outrage, finding comfort in hearing my own social and political views being reflected back to me without proactively working to enact them. Even my physical consumption was less considered – I ate more fast food and cooked fewer fresh meals, opting for convenience over value. Perhaps worst of all, however, is that I can’t remember many moments of joy coming as a result of this endless, unfiltered consumption. I sought instant gratification over joy. I consumed for the sake of satiation, not satisfaction.

The moments of joy I experienced last year were not the result of consumption, but creation. Angela and I spent hours, days even, planning and putting together the wedding of our dreams. We knew from the beginning that we wanted to do as much as we could ourselves – that way we could spend meaningful time together, flex our creative muscles, and save money for more important things like all the days that come after the Big Day. Those moments of creation – curating a playlist for dancing, making jam for our table favours, choosing a menu, writing speeches – those were moments of pure joy. So, too, was having our families visit our new home – our first together – and taking the time to cook for them. Ditto to creating memories with our nearest and dearest on a weekend away with our wedding party. There is an indelible link, at least in my mind, between joy and creation.

Consumption is ultimately passive, and creation ultimately active. It is clear to me now that joy is created, not often found. You must work for it, seek it out. And the work and the seeking make you appreciate the joy all the more. I don’t mean to say that there is no joy to be found in consumption. I consumed many things in 2017 that contributed to my overall happiness. I saw Shakespeare performed live for the first time in years. I listened to hundreds of hours of podcasts from people whom I admire for their positivity and desire to bring light to others. I read beautiful books and poetry (those looking for recommendations, I encourage you to read Genuine Fraud by E. Lockhart, Last Night in Montreal by Emily St. John Mandel, and Poems That Make Grown Women Cry, edited by Anthony and Ben Holden). But the joy I found in consumption came because I brought the same care to what I was consuming as what I create.

So how can I do better in 2018, to take joy into my own hands? I am going to try to do three things:

1. First, I am going to be more careful in my consumption. I am planning a purge of my social feeds, unfollowing voices which I find incendiary or which contribute unnecessarily to our culture of outrage. I will replace novelty or celebrity follows with voices representing diversity and consideration in their viewpoints. Hopefully, I will inform myself more deeply, and be better equipped to enact change than shout impotently into the void.
2. Second, I will take better care of myself, physically and emotionally. I will recognize the impact that unchecked consumption has on my health. And I will acknowledge that a healthy me, both mentally and physically, is better able to create and advocate for joy.
3. And third, I will spend more time creating. I will cook more, write more, come up with my own opinions. I will create safe spaces for considered and considerate conversation. I will create for myself and others. I will experience creation, without and within.

That is what I am going to do. I will probably fall short, again and again, but I am going to try. This year, I hope to put more out into the world than I take from it. And I am going to enjoy it.